It’s a common misconception that you have to be religious in order to be spiritual. But in reality, there’s no single way to be a spiritual person. “Spirituality is deeply personal,” explains Jeanette Schneider, a self-help expert and author of LORE: Harnessing Your Past to Create Your Future. “It isn’t a class, a church group, or a belief system. It is the moments when you are quiet, reflective, and intentional that you become your own teacher and guide—and it is in those moments that you commune with your own higher power and answers become clear.”
So if it isn’t about going to church or studying the Quran, then how can you make conscious efforts to become more spiritual? Luckily, there are many spiritual experts out there who are ready and able to guide you as you embark on your existential journey. To get you started, we’ve compiled some of the best tips for becoming a more spiritual, happier person.
In order to become a more spiritual person, you must first realize that “we are all here on earth to help each other,” explains Mary Potter Kenyon, a certified grief counselor and program coordinator for the Shalom Spirituality Center in Iowa. Helping others doesn’t necessarily mean joining the Peace Corps. Whenever you can, Kenyon suggests that you simply “extend a helping hand, smile at people, or reach out and hug someone” to open up your heart and fine-tune your spirituality.
A spiritual wish list doesn’t contain Amazon goodies and concert tickets. Rather, it should include items that foster “self-love, self-compassion, self-acceptance, self-respect, self-appreciation, and self-gratitude,” writes Jacqueline Pirtle, a spiritual life coach, in her book 365 Days of Happiness: Because Happiness is a Piece of Cake! If you’re still not sure what to put on your list, Pirtle suggests to start with things like “I wish for me to treat myself like my own best friend,” and “I wish for me to relax and spend time in quiet and peace.” In other words, think about “the energy of desires, wishes, hopes, happiness, gifts, dreams, and feel-good intentions.”
The 555 practice is a morning mindfulness practice created by Uma Beepat that can put the mind in a state of spirituality. “It basically just involves spending five minutes in meditation, five minutes stretching, and five minutes mentally preparing for the day,” explains Beepat, a consciousness coach and owner of Lotus Wellness Center. And for more ways to have a good morning, read through these 50 Good Morning Quotes to Inspire Your Day.
“Forgiveness is crucial for spiritual growth,” explains Visa Shanmugam, a mindset and empowerment coach in Maryland. “Whether you realize it or not, we hold onto so much trauma from as recently as yesterday (when someone was rude to you at the checkout counter), all the way back to your oldest childhood memory (when kids called you weird).” To assist in the process of letting go, Shanmugam suggests that you “write a forgiveness list” that includes all of the people who you believe have wronged you, and then just decide to “forgive them.” You have the power to do it!
You don’t have to go out and buy a bunch of new things like books, salt lamps, and essential oils in order to become more spiritual. It’s more about taking advantage of “the opportunities that are all around you,” explains J. A. Plosker, MA, JD, MSW, LMSW, a mindfulness speaker and author of The Nobody Bible: Uncovering the Simple Wisdom in Ordinary Life. For instance, on those days when traffic is terrible, Plosker says that you can use that to your advantage to “commit to being more patient.” These small steps that you take every day “can lighten your spirit and create more inner peace.”
“In order to achieve a higher state of spirituality, the aura needs to be as clean as possible,” says Kadeem Alston-Roman, a spiritual advisor and co-founder of Full Force Wellness. “When someone lies, it is clairvoyantly seen that gray clouds emanate from their aura,” he says. If you want to keep your aura clear so that light can shine through, then make sure that you’re always telling the truth. (And yes, little white lies do count.)
“What we focus on is what we will manifest in our lives,” explains Beepat. “Keeping a gratitude journal gives us time to reflect on the events of the day and remember with happiness the things, big and small, that made us smile.” Becoming more spiritual isn’t the only reason you should practice giving more thanks.
Spiritual people know about the value of using their guts to make informed and intuitive decisions. “Our gut is extremely accurate at telling us what feels good and what doesn’t—but most often, we ignore it and ask our brain to make the decision instead,” says Shanmugam. “Take more opportunities to listen and follow what your gut tells you to do.”
Spirituality and contentedness tend to go hand-in-hand, which is why laughing more often is one of the best ways to transform yourself into a more metaphysical human being. “Laughing carries an energy of joy, silliness, playfulness, happiness, and fun,” explains Pirtle in 365 Days of Happiness. “When you laugh, you immediately shift to be and live in a ‘high for life’ frequency—and with that, you shift everything and everyone around you, too. If you choose to make laughing your default reaction, no matter what is happening for you, you will experience everything and everyone through your laughing filter.” Need something to laugh at? Check out 50 Dad Jokes So Bad They’re Actually Hilarious.
Spirituality and selfishness do not mesh well. In order to become one with the world, you first need to “work on congratulating people on their successes instead of being envious,” says Plosker. Envy is a normal human emotion, but you must fight to transform this feeling into something positive and kind if you want to be a more spiritual person.
“Faith in yourself and in something higher than yourself is a game changer,” says Schneider. Even if you aren’t religious, you can still aim to connect to the universe in a way that strengthens your spirituality and, more importantly, your relationship with yourself.
“The juice of the spiritual berry, in my opinion, comes from being around like-minded company,” says Beepat. Surrounding yourself with others who are on a spiritual journey—whether that’s in person at a wellness center or online in a Facebook group—gives you a place to “hang out, learn, chill, and ask questions.”
Closing yourself off to new experiences and emotions is going to make your journey toward spirituality incredibly difficult. Instead of being closed-minded and stubborn, you should “start [each] new day by setting the intention to be open and [to] receive all inspirations coming your way,” writes Pirtle.
According to Margaret Paul, PhD, a relationship expert and co-founder of the InnerBonding self-healing process, spirituality is all about being kind and caring enough to “connect with the love, peace, and joy of spirit.” But in order to do that, you must first learn to love yourself. “When we choose to be open to learning about loving ourselves and others, our heart opens,” Paul explains.
What’s happening inside of your body has just as much of an effect on your spirituality as what’s happening outside of it. “When we eat high vibrancy food—clean, unprocessed foods—we raise the frequency of our body high enough so that, along with our intent to learn about love, we can access our higher personal spiritual guidance,” says Paul.
“Take time to enjoy small, positive moments,” says Jamie Price, a mindfulness and wellness expert and co-founder of wellness app Stop, Breathe & Think. “Slow down and notice what you see, hear, smell, feel, and taste, really paying attention to your experience. This simple shift in attention can boost your happiness, and it will increase your capacity to enjoy pleasant events overall. This is connectivity, which is, in a sense, spirituality.”
“Meditation and prayer open the door for a greater sense of connection with the divine,” says Robyn McKay, PhD, an executive coach and psychologist who focuses on spiritual growth and development. If your aim is to practice spirituality every day, then her advice is to “set aside time every day to meditate with the specific intention of connecting with your heart.”
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